Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Years ago, when I was much younger, I participated in group therapy at a critical moment of my life. Recently, while cleaning out a file cabinet, I found some notes I made during that time.

Here are some of the important lessons I learned. Maybe these might help you too.

  • “Life is a vale of tears.”
  • Insight is the beginning of change.
  • If something isn’t working, do it differently. Practice ways to change.
  • Everyone can change. They may choose to change, or they may not.
  • You won’t cease being yourself if you do it differently.
  • Most people fear change because they fear loss.
  • You cannot make another person feel anything. You cannot change another person, only yourself.
  • You are the cause of your own personal happiness.
  • All you have is what is going on now: the present. Live in the present.
  • Everything is a trap. Making a choice means you don’t get it all.
  • We don’t appreciate or celebrate what we gain. There’s both gain and loss in every situation. Nothing is “either” / “or.” It’s both.
  • Anger turned inside is depression.
  • You get depressed at the advent of some major change in your life. You are anticipating loss and sadness.
  • We orchestrate our lives either consciously or unconsciously.
  • Don’t give the control of your life over to another.
  • Major things in life happen by chance. Learn to create your own happenstance.
  • Choose to become imperfect, not a victim.
  • A person creates his own outlook on life. Situations can vary because of how you view the situation.
  • The more you are autonomous, the closer you can get to other people.
  • We fear losing our identity.
  • If you are mature, you can distinguish between how you think and how you feel.
  • Adulthood is the ability to live with your own aloneness.

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